This is a compressed social media blurb. Does it sound like a real person talking straight? What's ? The draft contains AI rhetorical habits and lists are disguised as colon setups.
The draft uses plain words and avoids academic jargon. Are there any cases where the same thought is repeated? Are the statistics accurate to their target, and do you cite real numbers and names?
Avoid cheap anti-tech slang. Apply empathy and human dignity unanimously, without tribal selectivity or conspiratorial deflection.
Here's the revised body:
